As we’re all recapping the highlights of 2018, I want to take a moment to recap a few highlights, but also a few low times. Through it all, the ups and downs, there wasn’t a day where Jesus wasn’t by my side.
Mason and I traveled to Annapolis, Maryland, Washington D.C. multiple times, one of my best friends came to visit us in Virginia, we visited Williamsburg, Yorktown, and Jamestown, and sailed away for an evening on a schooner named “Kathryn B,” which we didn’t know until we saw the sail boat wheel.
Both of our families visited us in Virginia, we celebrated two years of marriage, my family and I toured the White House and watched the President take off in Air Force One on his way to Singapore.
We got the most precious Chocolate Labrador Retriever and watched from afar as our friends back home and around the country had healthy beautiful babies. Through it all, there wasn’t a day Jesus wasn’t by my side.
In 2018, I was haunted by the words of my doctor saying out loud, “you have depression.”
I isolated myself from making new friends and spending time with friends we have made. Overall, I just isolated myself as much as I could.
I had so many panic attacks over my job because I felt so young and inexperienced compared to my co-workers. I was overwhelmed to the point of tears nearly every day for about three months.
Countless times, I cried in my therapist and psychologist’s offices trying to cope with my newly diagnosed anxiety and depression—from trying different breathing exercises, to taking every medication on the market until my doctors found what was right for me.
I had a major change at my job, which ultimately was good, but brought me a new level of anxiety and fear.
Mason and I experienced a major trauma that we are both still coping with in many ways. Flashbacks, nightmares, fear, anxiety, depression, pain. But, through it all, there wasn’t a day Jesus wasn’t by my side.
Jesus was by my side as I enjoyed dinner with our family. Jesus was by my side as I sat numb and broken in the emergency room.
I share the good and the bad because of this: there was not one single day, good or bad, in 2018 that Jesus was not by my side. I also share the good and the bad because, most of the time, on social media, all we see is everyone’s highlights and good days. I’m guilty of that. Then, we compare ourselves to others’ Instagram feeds, which is unrealistic. Comparison is the ultimate thief of joy.
I really struggled in 2018 and I know many of you did too—that’s why I wanted to share this with you—you’re not alone.
As I look at 2019 my only “resolution,” is to continue to trust God, speak less, and listen more:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “ - Jeremiah 29:11
As you go into 2019 remember—there won’t be a day where Jesus is not by your side.